Wednesday, June 5, 2013

On Moments

As I sit here watching the Houston Firefighters Memorial, I can't help but feel for the families at this exact moment.  Leaving the funeral is the worst part.  The finality of it is overwhelming.

Walking out of Lo's funeral, I was completely overwhelmed by the enormous number of people who had loved Lo and who were surrounding us with their love.  Halfway down the aisle, I realized I was walking all alone, without my best friend, for the first time.  How strange that surrounded by all those people whom I loved that I could feel so alone for an instant.  I'm sure some of the family and friends of those firefighters are feeling that right now.

It was only an instant.  Ever since then, I've felt the love and presence of my sister constantly.  I've felt it through the actions and words of others.  I've felt it through the changes of the seasons.  I've felt it through the sound of thunder and rain and rainbows.  I've felt it through the presence of hummingbirds. I've felt it when I've called friends who lived 15 minutes away and somehow appeared at my front door 9 minutes later.

Saturday morning, I felt the absolute opposite of loneliness.  It was Lo's goddaughter's birthday party.  At the end of the party, Lauren asked for a balloon.  When her uncle asked why, she said she wanted to send it to Lo.  We went outside and watched the balloon rise straight up for what seemed like hours until finally it couldn't be spotted anymore.  It was amazing.

My prayer for the friends and families of these four is that they get to experience countless moments like that.  Moments where they know those gone before aren't really all that far away.  Moments where they know their best friends are still right beside them.  Moments where they get to see the love of those still around.  Moments where they get to appreciate the moments of life that were taken too soon from others.


  1. Just lost my niece to CF a couple of weeks ago. Miss her much and wish the grief was not so overwhelming. I like your postive attitude. Good luck on your journey as a physician.

  2. That's beautiful, Jane. I wish I lived close to you so that I could do this in person, but I'm here to send you virtual (((hugs))) whenever they're needed.

  3. Heather Summerhayes CariouJune 5, 2013 at 10:22 PM

    Thankyou, Jane, so much. Thirty-four years after losing my beloved sister Pam to CF, I can still feel her spirit guiding me, giving me strength, reminding me where to find my joy. It warms my heart that you are so open to Lo's presence. She will be with you always...