Sunday, June 30, 2013

Its Your Birthday

Hi Lo!

Today is your 29th birthday!  Today is also the day where I enter the ICU as a real live doctor for the first time.  I don't really start until tomorrow ... but they are going to show me around today.  Can you believe it?

We all miss you very much.  I know you're with me all the time.  And just in case you were thinking about going on vacation for your birthday, don't.  You need to be in the ICU tomorrow to help me out. You've been there way more than any of us!

I sure hope you are having an absolutely amazing heavenly birthday party with lots of blue balloons and yellow cake with chocolate icing and homemade chili and drumsticks.  I know you are. 

Love you to the moon and back!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013


Day one of orientation done.

Today made the first day of medical school look like child's play.  Its a good thing I have practice drinking from a firehouse.

I have a pager.  I have a badge that says I'm a doctor.

They say I'll work 12+ hour days 6 days a week for the next year.  I suppose my body will quickly realize that what the badge says is true.

Hopefully my pysche will catch up shortly thereafter.  It just doesn't seem real.

I'm a doctor.  

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

On Moments

As I sit here watching the Houston Firefighters Memorial, I can't help but feel for the families at this exact moment.  Leaving the funeral is the worst part.  The finality of it is overwhelming.

Walking out of Lo's funeral, I was completely overwhelmed by the enormous number of people who had loved Lo and who were surrounding us with their love.  Halfway down the aisle, I realized I was walking all alone, without my best friend, for the first time.  How strange that surrounded by all those people whom I loved that I could feel so alone for an instant.  I'm sure some of the family and friends of those firefighters are feeling that right now.

It was only an instant.  Ever since then, I've felt the love and presence of my sister constantly.  I've felt it through the actions and words of others.  I've felt it through the changes of the seasons.  I've felt it through the sound of thunder and rain and rainbows.  I've felt it through the presence of hummingbirds. I've felt it when I've called friends who lived 15 minutes away and somehow appeared at my front door 9 minutes later.

Saturday morning, I felt the absolute opposite of loneliness.  It was Lo's goddaughter's birthday party.  At the end of the party, Lauren asked for a balloon.  When her uncle asked why, she said she wanted to send it to Lo.  We went outside and watched the balloon rise straight up for what seemed like hours until finally it couldn't be spotted anymore.  It was amazing.

My prayer for the friends and families of these four is that they get to experience countless moments like that.  Moments where they know those gone before aren't really all that far away.  Moments where they know their best friends are still right beside them.  Moments where they get to see the love of those still around.  Moments where they get to appreciate the moments of life that were taken too soon from others.

Monday, June 3, 2013

On Thinking Time ...

Giving the mind, body, and soul a chance to rest is one of the most important things we can do.  I do not remember any of the other 6 habits from the bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, which is the version of the book I read in high school.  #7, sharpen the saw, really stuck with me though.

It is so important to take the time to make sure I am taking care of myself.  Pushing exercise to the back burner and grabbing take out ... all in the name of accomplishing other goals ... is so easy.  Its not like I'm doing those things and then sitting on the couch and watching TV.

However, I decided to take some time to do nothing but relax and think.  I have not given myself a chance to sit around and think very much in the past year because I haven't really wanted to think about some of the things I need to think about.  Its easy to just push things to the back if you don't stop and think about them.

So I'm thinking.  Memorial Day morning I woke up and decided to go to Mount Rushmore.  Why not? I drove north and west and north some more and drove through tornadoes and plains and rolling hills and miles where I had no cell coverage and never saw another car.  That was some good thinking time. I've also now officially been to all 48 continental United States.

single buffalo, buffalo herd, Ollie, backside of Mt Rushmore, hiking around a beautiful lake, hidden staircase, somewhere in the Dakotas, my copilot, memories

After a day at home and a bachelorette party, I'm continuing the thinking time.  For the next few days, I'll be thinking from here.  And probably rereading the 7 habits so that I can find out what the other 6 are!  :)