Month One Done

I initially started this post during my last shift of my first month of ICU.  It was a night shift and as things happen, I got busy and didn't get it finished.  Instead of deleting or even editing it, I'm going to share it because it quite simply speaks the truth in a very non- War and Peace way.  I'm looking forward to many more months of learning and growing.


Well, not quite.  I'm working my last shift of my first month of a long coat doctor.  I'll be finished at about 630 this morning.

This has been hands down one of the coolest months of my life.  I've gotten used to being called Doctor.  I've gotten used to the weight of two, sometimes three, pagers.  I've gotten used to being somewhat tired.  I've gotten used to looking forward to a day off because it means eating, sleeping, and sleeping some more.

I've had the privilege of helping to take care of some really sick people.  I've been there when people died.  I've been there when people got better.  Its pretty amazing to get to see all of it.

Its scary to write an order or make a decision about which antibiotic to use ... but it is getting less scary.  I hope I always have some level of fear because that means I'm paying attention.  I've learned so much.  So very very much.